Thursday, May 28, 2009

Forget Waterboarding. Try Chocolate Chip Cookies

Terrorist interrogator's best friend

According to the print media industry publication Editor and Publisher, a story that will appear in tomorrow's Time Magazine reveals that an interrogation technique that worked with one of the world's most notorious terrorists involved feeding him sugar free chocolate chip cookies.

That's right. Time correspondent Bobby Gosh reports that a former FBI interrogator gave Osama bin Laden lieutenant Abu Jandal - a diabetic - sugar free chocolate chip cookies to soften him up. Gosh reports that the interrogator, Ali Soufan, told members of Congress that showing Jandal respect softened him up and he sang like a canary.

Former FBI agent Jack Cloonan, who also interrogated terrorism suspects, said in an interview on News Talk Online on that he too rejected torture. He said doing small favors for suspects often resulted in them giving him information vital to national security. Torture, he said, only would cause a suspect to tell you what they think you want to know just to get the interrogator to stop.

We talk about issues like these and more weekdays at 5 PM New York time on News Talk Online on


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Anonymous said...


Juliet Waters

Anonymous said...

Of course, our greatest strength is exactly the Constitution and our best traditions. That may be why the military-industrial complex works so hard to undermine them.

Eric Root

Anonymous said...

Hah. Great post. I heard about some of this a while back on NPR. It sounds so right; I’d give up my grandmother for a brownie.

David Decker

Anonymous said...

One of the most effective means of gathering information in WWII was to allow the German officers to live in relative comfort and let them hang out together in a really nice parlor and discuss matters over a cup of coffee, while the allies recorded every conversation. It seriously makes you wonder about Bush and co.

Anonymous said...

I had also heard that during WWII Americans had the most success interrogating German prisoners by feeding them steak and playing chess with them. I think the torturing was Cheney's wet dream.

Anonymous said...

This post immediately brought to mind an old Doonesbury book I remember from my childhood:

Alan Nothnagle

THE LonesomeDove said...

Yeah, right. And those of us with half a brain wonder what Abu Jandal "fed" his interrogators, too. I could make some guesses... *Rolling my eyes*

Anonymous said...

To every future incarcerator, interrogator, and torturer of mine I have only one thing to say--chocolate cake.

Anonymous said...

I've heard more than once that truly effective police, interviewers and interrogators always use sympathy, empathy and other "soft" skills to get people to talk. It makes complete sense to me.

Now can someone please feed Dick Cheney something that will soften him up??

Anonymous said...

So you’re saying ‘Mrs. a a a torturer.’ Yes? Is that how that evil woman perfected America’s Favorite Cookie?! She locked Muslims in the basement and plied them with.....cookies???!!!! NOOOOOOOO She cookie boarded them....

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, chocolate chip cookies are not so effective at eliciting false information/confessions, from what I hear. Now brownies (not junior girl scouts, the food!), they might do it. Especially if you pull them out of the oven once or twice and drop them from a height of about 18" to make them as dense as possible. And black walnuts, I think.

Leslie Basden

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I have a terrible craving for chocolate chip cookies now!!

Anonymous said...

Additional studies have shown that combining chocolate chip confections and waterboarding techniques generally only succeeds in suspects tossing their cookies.

Anonymous said...

Gimme a cookie! I'll sing like a canary!

THE LonesomeDove said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
THE LonesomeDove said...

Anonymous said...
"So you’re saying ‘Mrs. a a a torturer.’ Yes?"No, no. That would be Mrs. Fields! And I heard that during her Navy Seal cooking baking interrogation training, she was force-fed a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie and then First Sgt. Otis Spunkmeyer beat the following out of her:

2 c. butter
2 c. sugar
2 c. brown sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
4 c. flour
5 c. oatmeal, ground in blender
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. soda
24 oz. chocolate chips
4 oz. grated Hershey bar

Cream butter and sugars together. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix in flour, oatmeal, baking powder and soda. Stir in chips and Hershey bar. Bake 7-10 minutes at 375 degrees.